


you.

by yami (blind_man_sun)



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who: Eighth Doctor Adventures - Various Authors
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Fluff, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-04-30 00:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blind_man_sun/pseuds/yami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>series of drabbles focusing on eight and fitz's relationship</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. cry.

You’re crying again and you hate it. You’ve always cried easily, since you were a kid, and you hate it. It’s weak.

You’re not even sure what set you off this time. It might’ve been a nightmare, might’ve been nothing, but you woke up in the night too full of words you couldn’t say.

“Sorry.” It’s all you can manage, over and over again. “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

“Shh, it’s alright.” Their arms are around you, and it’s almost enough. “It’s okay.”

It’s not okay, and it hasn’t been for a long time, but the words stick and become tears instead. They hug you tighter and you cling to them, sad and scared and miserable.

You want to apologize for getting their shirt wet.


	2. lie.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, everything’s going to be alright. You’ll be fine.” It was a lie, and you knew it, and Fitz probably would too, if only he would wake up. He was always rather good at seeing right through you.

There was too much blood and he was cold, colder than you were, and it scared you, a hollow heavy feeling, like one when one of your hearts had rotted in on itself.

Someone had tried to take him from you, earlier, and you’d screamed. They kept a safe distance now, watching you rage and beg.

“No no no no no, Fitz, wake up, please. I-“ There’s not enough words, not enough time. “I need you.”

You never hear a response.


	3. words.

You’re not very good at communicating, the two of you. Too many layers, too much time spent building up walls and forgetting how to tear them down. There’s just too much to say and your mouth goes dry whenever you even think of bringing it up. Three small words. You could blurt them out in less than a second if you wanted to, but you know you never will. They’re tiny, impossible words, but they mean too much.

The rulers of Gallifrey are telepathic, you know, and you wonder if there’s a way to say them after all.


	4. things you said i wasn't meant to hear

you’re standing outside the console room and they’re inside talking to sam and what they say makes the lead settle in your stomach again, just like it did when you were a kid and the world at large was spitting venom at you.

“i don’t think i like him” the doctor says, voice muffled by the hum of the tardis. “i know i certainly don’t trust him.”

“why invite him with us, then?” asks sam, and you can see, in your mind’s eye, the doctor shrugging in that way they have. casual. like their words don’t hurt. like humans don’t matter to them.

of course we don’t, you think, nails biting into your palms. they’re an alien, what do you expect? 

you don’t want to hear the rest of this conversation. you want a smoke and you want to play your guitar and you want your mum back and you can’t get any of those because you’ve lost your entire life as you know it.

you turn to leave and you tell yourself it doesn’t matter, fitz kreiner never needed anyone’s approval, but you know, in your heart, that it’s a lie.


End file.
